P. M. — Family questionnaire

The questionnaireanswers as written; unanswered questions are not shown

What languages get spoken in your house, and who speaks which to whom?

I only speak Chinese to my dad, I only speak English with my mom. Same rules for my maternal and paternal side. English for maternal, Chinese for Paternal. My dad speaks Shanghainese to his parents.

Describe a normal weeknight dinner at your house.

If it’s at my dad’s house in Shanghai, we usually have steak, mustard greens, eggs, and rice. When my mom cooks, we eat a large variety, usually clam chowder, or curry, or dumplings. I eat everything even though I am sometimes particular. My dad is like a vacuum cleaner, and my mom is probably the slowest eater in the world.

Is there a dish your family makes that you have never seen anywhere else?

My dad makes these sugar and soy sauce pan fried eggs, they are the best thing in the world.

What is in your kitchen that would not be in most of your friends' kitchens?

We have the most extensive sauce drawer known to man.

Where does your family food shop, and how far do they drive to do it?

In China, my dad goes to Sam’s store or another chain/sometimes to the fish market. In America my mom buys from Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and Weee!

Is there a word or phrase your family uses at home that does not really translate?

Luo tang ji. It’s a more common Chinese way to describe someone who is soaking wet, but it’s something funny that me and my parents share. It means, ‘fallen into water chicken’.

What sport, instrument or activity did you end up doing — and who decided?

I wrestle, I think I Kim with the sport a lot because my father used to be a martial artist and he did MMA and taught me kick boxing.

What do your parents expect of you, said out loud or not?

They expect me to be myself as fully and honestly as possible, incredibly unseats of in Asian society but fortunately true for me.

What do you get asked about being Asian American that you are tired of being asked?

I hate being asked if I speak Mandarin. Just wait for me to tell you please. Especially when I’ve either made it extremely obvious that I do, or have done the opposite by acting ABC. It’s just strange.

What city or neighbourhood did your family first live in when they arrived?

I don’t know exactly what neighborhood but my great grandmother kept her kids in their apartment in New York in a less than safe building.

Is there a story about your family that gets retold?

My great grandfather was the head of Shanghai’s secret police under Chiang Kai Shek. He was assassinated by Mao Ze Dong for anti-part sentiments. This was what caused my great grandmother to take her youngest children and flee the country.

Look around your house. What is one object your family would never throw away?

My grandmother’s paintings, she is truly the opposite of everything her family wanted their children to be. She is a true artist and beyond being bundled across the world by her mother she has emerged as a butterfly.

What is happening in the photos you uploaded?

In one, my grandmother in her twenties stands next to her mother. In another my great grandmother is photographed in New York, another is my mother as a toddler messily babbling next to my grandmother. Both my mom and my uncle are together with my grandma in one. And finally a portrait of my great grandfather, head of the Shanghai secret police.

What do you want someone to know about your family in a hundred years?

I want them to know of our uniqueness. How unapologetically creative we are, how much we have suffered to be able to create, and how happy we are to be together.

Held, not published

• Contributor's contact details (never published).
• One photograph of the object (the grandmother's paintings) and five family photographs, with the captions above. Held until the contributor confirms in writing which may be published and how the people in them should be named.

Editorial notes

• The family story about the great-grandfather is published as the contributor told it; the archive has not verified it and does not present it as established history.
• The six photographs are the strongest visual material received so far and were described in detail by the contributor. Priority for a confirmation request.